Similarities between babies and terrorists

1) They both have an agenda. Terrorists want to get the USA out of their country. Babies want food and attention.
2) Standard diplomatic channels have failed both groups. The U.N. and other government processes don't take terrorists very seriously, which provides a motive for them to resort to unconventional methods of persuasion (see #3). As for babies, they can't talk to, or understand adults. When babies politely ask for food and attention, we ignore them or say, "isn't he cute." Like the terrorists, this failure of normal conflict resolution channels leads babies to explore alternative ones.
3) Unconventional warfare tactics. Terrorists have airplanes and IEDs. Babies have a very loud screaming noise that is used to bring the enemy to their knees and scramble frantically around trying to figure out and give the baby what it wants. Babies have developed a highly dangerous explosive chemical warfare device known informally as the "poop bomb". Male babies have also experiemented with peeing in the enemy's face during diaper changes, although this sometimes backfires when they pee in their own face.

4)Neither respond to well-reasoned arguments. I had a long talk with James the other day about the necessity of taking breaks during long crying sessions as a way of improving endurance. You know, you've got to pace yourself if you are going to scream all night. But he didn't even take me seriously, and continued to scream at an unsustainable rate until falling asleep 30 minutes later

5) Persistence. I've often tried to distract James from crying through airplane rides, pep rallies (this is when I get in his grill and get him all pumped up to stop crying, kind of like the WWF wrestler pump up talks), and truck noises. These all work for only a short while. It reminds me of the short-lived cease fire agreements common in the middle east.

McKinsey Basketball Injury

Where's Dr. Mason when you need him? As you can see, my normal skeleton right ankle has swollen and locked at an unnatural angle. My penalty for fighting with George Kase (former captain of UCLA football team) for a rebound. Curses.

Born in the Covenant

As we were folding laundry today, I introduced James to the L&T logo. Amy said, "so what does James have to do to be able to get an L&T shirt? After all, I had to pay a pretty steep price to get one." That's when I explained to Amy about being born in the covenant. Since James's last name is Bankhead, he is entitled to the blessings of L&T shirts without having to do anything but beg Uncle Johnny for the latest and greatest models. Then Amy realized in horror, "Oh no, my child is a Bankhead!" Ha ha . But at least he doesn't have to pay the steep price that non-Bankheads would pay for the privilege of being an L&T man (or woman).

Swimmy, - the tale of a little house in Flossmoor

I was going to send an email, but blogging seemed so much more, well, fancy.

So after the rain adventure on Easter evening deposited flood water up to our basement ceiling shattered our windows downstairs and left a foot of water in our garage and livingroom, we have begun sloshing our way to freedom.

We've got all the water sucked out of our house, the carpet upstairs ripped up, the drywall cut out, and all the contents of our baseent slogged into a huge dumpster in our driveway. The crews from our fantabulous flood folks descended on the house yesterday like a swarm of honeybees and carried all our stuff out, sprayed the place down, and set up fans. Now we just need to wait for many days for our house to dry out. When it does, they can check out the foundation, the electrical system, and such, and replace the water heater, furnace, air conditioner, humidifier, and our other systems that make our little robot of a house work. Three cheers for flood insurance and the crew who is doing all this. It's a crazy amount of work.

Emily put on her rescue ranger costume and boarded a plane to Illinois and whisked our wee girls away from the disaster zone, thanks to southwest vouchers from Mom and Dad. Now we're staying downtown in Rick's bosses corporate apartment while Rick works and I go to my MBA admit weekend. By the way, right now and MBA and MPP seem totally worthless. I want to go into plumbing. But be that as it may. Our neighbors, friends, and Rick's coworkers have been super nice will offers to help. I am going to join Emily and the girls in Texas on Sunday. So Paul and Austin, I don't know if it is a good time for you and yours, what with babies and moves pending, but if it works perhaps we can swing a visit up there.

Wanted to give you all the update. Thanks for phone calls etc. Looking forward to seeing everyone in June for Alan's pending nuptuals.

Love Laurie

 

Trash Metal 101

I would like to announce that James and I spent the morning listening to Def Leppard. I just bought a new 2 CD greatest hits album called Rock of Ages. Ironic, eh? Anyway, James really likes "Bringin' on the heartbreak" and "Pour some sugar on me."

In other news, James experienced a blow-out today, leaving poop all over his back. I assume it is just this kind of malfunctioning that led John to require surgery. Hopefully James will grow out of it and won't follow in his uncle's footsteps in regards to anal functionality.

Bruce Bloggtrotter

I too think the idea of a blog is a good one. perhaps it will be like the emails we traded in days of yore..... I'm just preparing to take some finals next friday and hopefully I will be done with school sooner than later. My summer plan is to work for westec and continue the excellent tradition of HPAD. I think sometime I am going to go to australia for a week or so, which I am rather pleased about. anyway, nice idea paul!

Jace

Sophie, etc.

The Sophie-ism of the week was claimed early Sunday. We went to the Unitarian church, which we hadn't done in months. We've had mixed feelings about the church, and have been looking into other options. When the minister came to say hello and tell us he'd missed us, Sophie announced, "We've been checking out some other churches". I felt rather sheepish. Bluffing as a lifestyle has become increasingly difficult.

I went to the public policy weekend at U Chicago and am doing the MBA one next weekend. Hurrah. I am not finalizing any decisions until I've been to both (when I believe the business school will offer me millions of dollars to attend, thus simplifying my decision considerably.)

Sophie and I are doing office work currently. She's pretending she's a Mom who works, and has quite a bit to do. I am being recruited to help her make rainbows for her friends, so off I go.

More than you wanted to know

Just for the record, I am going in today to have surgery on my anus. That's right folks, my anus. As Alan has been prone to say, my anus has been overworked and underpaid and is currently on strike. And let me tell you, an angry anus is a painful anus. I hope all of you will be more kind and considerate to your anus, thereby avoiding potentially painful situations in the future.

Sweet Baby James

Here is a picture of our boy in his cool Combi car seat.

Update on my Job situation

It seems I have a knack for combining multiple life changes into small periods of time. Like when we got married, moved to Dallas 3 days later, went to England a day later. After England, I worked in Florida for a week then started a new job the next day. Not to mention I'd graduated from college a few months eariler. Yikes.

This time, we've had a baby, I'm quitting my old job, looking for a new job, and most likely moving in the next few months. Yikes again. I'm looking for a cool businessy job in the internet or ecommerce industry. So far, I've interviewed at Google and Ebay, so it looks like either way we'll be moving to the Bay Area. Mountains, trees, ocean, and nice weather here we come. Hooray.

Also I would like to comment that we like James. He is a good boy so far, and makes excellent faces.

Career Musings

I'm still wishing I knew what to do when I grow up. I waffle between two vague possibilites.

1) Live a quiet life in a quiet town working a boring job from 8-5. Accept a life of poverty and mediocrity, knowing that I probably am not "living up to my potential", but hey, I make every single one of my kids baseball games. Perhaps wake up when I am 50 and realize my kids can't afford to go to college and they have horribly crooked teeth bacause I couldn't afford a dentist and perhaps I have wasted my God given talents and abilities to do cool things.

2)Live life in the fast lane. Work in fancy impressive jobs in corporate America in big progressive cities. Travel. Work long hours. Rarely be home for dinner, but rarely look at the clock because work is actually pretty interesting. Work with smart interesting fun people who spent a year backpacking through pakistan or fighting world poverty or living in malta. Change the world. Be rich and maybe famous and important. Perhaps wake up when I am 50 and realize I don't know my own family.

I suppose it is nice to have both options, but I am not really sure where I will end up. Hopefully somewhere in between.